As another decade draws to a close, I’ve been reflecting back and seeing how my life has changed in that time frame. I was in my mid teens, and now I’m in my mid 20s, both of which are known for being unstable and uncertain. However, with the instability and uncertainty comes a sense of freedom and excitement. I didn’t see that until much later.
(In the ‘read more’ is a summary of the past decade with pictures)
Thankfully, through this decade, I’ve mostly been able to keep my support system in tact and found some semblance of stability again. How long it’ll last, I don’t know, but I do know that I’ll enjoy it while it lasts. I learnt how unpredictable life can be, so I’m not taking anything for granted anymore.
Bad: shattered a life long dream twice; destroyed illusions I had about my life, especially regarding my family; hit rock bottom twice, which was in part thanks to my own unrealistic expectations on what my life should be like; took a blow to my mental health
Good: kept in contact with my friends & family; made new friends I treasure; joined my a cappella group and the UK a cappella community; gone to therapy to cope with traumatic events and my anxiety; tried different jobs and figured out what I don’t want; kept writing no matter what
I’m ready for a new decade. A decade where I can take whatever time I need to become a more mature adult, including learning how to cook, how to drive, how to do taxes and what mortgages are, finding my own place and figuring out how to balance work with leisure. A decade where I will continue to keep in contact with my friends and family, and continue to make new friends. A decade where I can pick up new hobbies, educate myself on new topics, and keep writing no matter what.
I’ve let fear win for far too long. I want to go outside my comfort zone in this next decade, and try things regardless of whether I’m terrified or not. I want to enjoy life and not let my expectations get the better of me. I want to live as who I want to be, not who everyone else wants me to be.